Yesterday I had the opportunity to go back to District 21 and help out with their Senior baseball tournament. 2 teams. Best of 3. I had the plate. Tonight, I had third base.
One thing about going all the way up to Rialto to do a game is that I get a long drive home to think about the game. That usually means I get to go over all the questions that should keep me up at night over with before I get home and get ready for bed. There’s always questions: was my strike zone consistent? Could I have done anything to speed the game up? Could I have done anything to prevent the ejection? (Yes, I did eject someone for drawing a line on a pitch.)
Then there are the comments from parents and coaches that don’t ultimately matter but I do hear and have to answer on those long drives home. Was the parent yelling about whatever in the moment a legitimate critique? Could I have done anything to clean up confusion on the field before it got to that point?
It’s a game-by-game struggle to get through the questions and ultimately ask myself, “Am I giving these kids my all so they can have a fair and unbiased game from my position? Am I working hard enough, hustling, and have the knowledge to make the correct calls?” I have found over the years that umpiring isn’t about the self-doubt that the questions after the game on the drive home cause to worm through my brain. It is the belief that I am working hard, training hard, and doing a job that most people don’t want to do to the best of my ability.
I understand that I am not perfect and will readily agree with that. I will typically talk with my catcher if he is chatty and will admit when I miss a pitch after thinking about it for a few more seconds. (I need to work on my timing to correct that.) What I won’t do is tear myself down for making mistakes. To error is part of the game of baseball. If you ever look at the back of a baseball card, there is a fielding stat kept called, “ERR” and also Fielding Percentage. They track errors ball players make on the field (They track everything in baseball stats.) I work hard not to error but occasionally I do and I learn from it to get better next time.
I had a couple of really close calls on the bases tonight. Years ago, maybe even last year, my positioning would have been off and I would have missed the call. Last night, looking back on it now, I worked hard to get the right position and got the calls right without a doubt. This is years of training, experience, and hustle coming into play to give the players my absolute best. The doubts may come. The criticisms definitely will. I take refuge in the fact that I am willing to make those decisions, to take the criticisms, to go home and wrestle with calls, research, talk, and read to get better, while those who complain are complacently willing to sit and complain. I am the expert in my field while on the field and I take that seriously, while really, really, really enjoying what I do. I love umpiring.
And hey, I get to umpire some softball tomorrow with my friend Ernie. Can it get better than that?
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