My crew: 2021 Edition

From Left to Right:
Top: Jamie Sims, Joey Traylor, Tony Escarzaga, Joel Ewan, Scott McLernon,
Paul Cummings, Doug Singer, Gary Graupmann
Front: Dan Anzini, George Rodriguez, Doug Perret, Mike Falzone, Russ Smith

 I didn't really blog during the week as the week was full of activity outside the complex to try to replicate a normal tournament for the three guys who didn't defer to next year. Now that I'm home, I would love to watch games I was a part of and do a live-tweet like event on my blog to talk about what goes on during the game and what my through process was in these moments. It is going to be a backwards blogging event from the 2017 edition.

So I wanted to start off with a view of who was there this year. As I mentioned before, the original 10 invitees were given the choice to either do the softball tournament this year or defer to next year. 7 of the 10 deferred, a very sensible decision. 3 decided to come this year no matter the restrictions for their own reasons and I think they did not regret their decision. This was a great group of umpires and better men. What will make or break any tournament crew is the amount of ego in the room. This year was no different. It was great. The egos were low. The comradery was high. There were a lot of laughs in that locker room and back at the hotel.

 There was a lot of experience on the field this week. While 7 of us had done this tournament before, the most experienced one of us all had not but had done multiple World Series. It was great to work games with umpires with tons more experience, more training, and as much passion as I possess for this game. I was humbled and proud to be part of such a crew. 

Dan Anzini, first time at the San Bernardino Regional. Northern California.

Dan was the youngest of our crew (2 years younger than me.) This was his first time here and he just soaked everything in. If there was a discussion about umpiring, the rules, mechanics, or just how to be a better umpire, Dan was there ready to listen. He admitted at the end that he decided to not defer when he heard about the replacements being umpires who have done this before because he knew there would be a lot of experience he could learn from the guys who had returned. I agree with that sentiment as I learned a lot too.

Dan is also humble, ready to learn, slow to speak, and has a great sense of humor. I think we immediately hit it off, even some before through Facebook. I definitely want to do some traveling and his district is on my list so I can work with him again.

Doug Singer, Arizona

Doug enjoys umpiring. He brings his own flair to the game and I'm sure the kids in Arizona love him on their games because he has an infectious joy that spreads to others because he's always smiling, laughing, and enjoying the moment. I want to enjoy the game like he does.

Doug and I got to spend some time going to Rosa Marias for a garbage burrito. That was an enjoyable trip. Doug is a good conversationalist, a generous soul, and just a laid-back, happy-go-lucky guy. He as a great attitude that makes umpiring easy.

Joel Ewan, Southern California, First time at San Bernardino Softball

Joel was our elder statesman. He actually was Jeff Wimbrough's mentor when Jeff started (look back to 2017 to see Jeff. He was our leader then.) Joel, while it was his first Major softball regional, was not new to the game. He has done multiple regionals and World Series tournaments. Joel was a deliberate umpire. He didn't waste steps but was always where he needed to be. He could anticipate where the ball was going to be and make sure he moved to the right spot when he needed to be there. 

He also is tremendously funny and personable, intelligent and considerate. Whenever someone even thought about needing something, Joel was there ready to serve. He's soft spoken and when he says something, it's worth listening. I learned a lot from him this week.

Joey Traylor, Arizona

Joey is quiet strength and the servant leader. He is confident in his skill but humble. His movement on the field is decisive, proactive, and always gets him to where he needs to be. Even on a day where he feels he was off, his mechanics and knowledge cover a multitude of self-realized errors so he is the only one who knows where he could have done better. I appreciate his self-evaluation, honesty, and his desire to always be better.

I don't believe Joey and I did a game together this tournament (I'll have to look back through my paperwork) but it was definitely a pleasure to watch him take a game, grab it by the shoulders, and make it submit to his quiet authority. He is generous and friendly, confident and introspective. Western Region baseball is lucky to have a man like him as their uncle (more about uncles later.)

Mike Falzone, Oregon

Mike has done the softball World Series circuit. A professional in every way, he is funny and fun while giving the game the gravity it demands. He is also humble (this word gets used a lot with this crew) and knew when he needed to step back to ensure the girls got the best umpiring experience they deserved. You see, Mike got tripped up on a play about midway through the tournament and hit the ground hard. He tried to finish the inning but the inning ended up being 15 runs and he was hurt about 6 runs in. During a time out for an injured player, he admitted that he needed to be taken out and I took his place at second base. 
Most people I know would try to stick it out, rough it with less than 100%, and then try to hide it after the game to ensure they would be available for every game after that. Heck, I would probably try to do that. Mike was self-aware enough to know that was not the thing to do and he earned all of our respect. We hit up the CVS, got the Tiger Balm, Salon Pause patches, Epson salt, and Aleve and he worked on making sure he could get back healthy. He umpired third for the final game and did a great job.

I got to spend a lot of time with Mike as his early-week chauffer. He is a quiet voice who has a lot of wisdom in everything he says. I really enjoyed my time with Mike and hope to get up to Oregon one of these years to do a game with him up there.

Paul Cummings, Southern California (Los Angeles), First time at San Bernardino Softball regional

I had heard a lot about Paul Cummings before I got here because he was the mentor of an umpire in my district with whom I have worked a lot of games. My friend thinks the world of Paul and I can see why. He is an intelligent umpire, a patient man, and a fantastic storyteller. It was fascinating just sitting down with him and listening to his stories about umpiring adult league softball with players like Terrell Owens and other famous movie and TV stars and athletes, as well as his games with the kids of stars. Everyone seems to just like Paul. He's a good umpire with a good attitude and a great sense of humor that puts celebrities as ease as just one of the players. Another umpire I want to get out and work with during the regular season (although I have a much better chance of getting to L.A. than I do Portland, especially if I can convince Willie to have me out there.)

Russ Smith, Arizona

Russ is another one of these quiet umpires who just gets the job done and gets it done quickly. We had a couple of games done in almost 3 hours. Russ's two plates combined were a little less than 2 1/2 hours. That's efficient.

Russ was another one of those umpires who quietly makes his way around the field to always be in the right position. He knows the rulebook like it is part of his body and always has something positive to say. I had known Russ by reputation from a few friends heading out to Arizona to work for him and they weren't wrong. He is friendly with a remnant of a Southern drawl and all of the hospitality the South is known for. He is a great umpire.

Scott McLernon, Southern California (Los Angeles)

Scott drew the straw to be on the very first plate of the tournament and he set the standard the rest of us strived to hit. Scott, an Air Force man, looks like an umpire. He is athletic, smooth, assertive, humble, knowledgeable, and personable. I didn't see a weakness in him all week but he would still take advice with dignity and contemplation. He has great timing on his calls and impeccable movement. He engenders friendship and loyalty as proven by his DA coming out to see him work his plates, even with L.A. traffic. 

George Rodriguez, All of Southern California

George is the one umpire I have worked with before, several times, before this regional. George is professional in every way. He loves the Little League program and he loves umpires. George, a Marine, is always the picture of a military standard uniform with the work ethic that comes with that training. There were times this week where I worked with him and I stood in awe of his ability to see exactly where he needed to be to ensure a tag happened. He, with Joey, are the baseball uncles and he takes that job seriously, just like his umpiring.

I love working with George because every time I do, I get honest feedback on how to improve. I need that. Working with guys more advanced, with finer skills, always helps to improve your game. We often tease each other on our military history (me being Navy) but I respect him more than words can tell. 

He earned the plate for the championship game and he made sure the girls determined the winner of that game. I wouldn't expect anything less from George Rodriguez, Marine, Teacher, Mentor, and Umpire. He is the personification of the Little League core value of loyalty. I can't say enough good things about him. I'm glad I get dragged along with my friends whenever I get to step on the field with him. Here's to many more games together in the future.

Those were the working crew. Two guys who make this tournament fun, relaxing, and the social event it needs to be are the softball uncles, Dave Miller and Chris Costlow. They help the umpires get what they need, help us relax after games, take all these wonderful pictures that I have on this blog right now, and are just all-around great guys. True servants at heart and in action. The softball are lucky to have them.

Russ, Gary, and Doug

Finally, there are the evaluators. Gary Graupmann, Jamie Sims, and Doug Perret. This is the same crew that was here in 2017. They are dedicated as all get out and incredible umpires on their own. They spend the whole week out here, helping all of us get better with a deep knowledge and love of the game. It was a blessing to get to work with these men. Volunteers through and through, with huge giving hearts and the eternal desire to make sure the girls get the best games because they have the best umpires. 

Paul and Jaime

This was an opportunity I never thought would have happened a second time. This time, I was much more intentional on collecting every moment in my mind because who gets to relive a memory this vivid a second time? The players were different. The umpires were too. The memories will play on in my mind as a sweet spot where I dodged some balls, got hit by a couple, and umpired some incredible girls who were all vying for not only a spot in the World Series, but some normalcy in a world turned topsy-turvy these past 18 months. It was great to be back out on the field. Thank you, San Bernardino, for another week that will live in my mind rent-free for years to come. 

It all starts tomorrow

 We finished our pre-tournament meeting and we're ready to go. Got my regional hat, 2 jerseys (both light blue with a black collar) and my first day schedule. 

Tomorrow, I am at first base for the 9 AM game and at second base at the 4 PM game. The 9 AM game is all Southern California umpires (with a Northern California umpire in the well.) It should be a great day of softball.

Funny thing. When I got my schedule, I was listed as Ernesto Escarzaga. Apparently, Ernesto and I merged into one person for this tournament. Ernie was my partner in crime in 2017 and a DA for a local district. One of my favorite people in the world. It is just funny they combined our names as he was originally supposed to come but then couldn't because, well, he's a DA.

I saw the field today and it is beautiful. They 'skinned' the infield, meaning there is no grass on the infield, just like it should be for softball. It should speed up the game a lot. The first game of the tournament is Arizona and Hawaii, who both are traditional softball powerhouses. It should really kick the tournament off with a bang.

One of the things I will be responsible for as the first base umpire is ensuring the visiting team does not go out onto the field until ESPN is ready for them. A lot of the timing of the tournament is dictated by the demands of television. I have noticed over the years that it makes for a really good broadcast but can slow the in person game down a lot. This year, as most viewership will be online, it should make the entire event a real event. I have no problem helping those viewers at home enjoy the experience.

So if I mess up tomorrow, I have two things to protect me. I'll be wearing my mask and I'll be Ernesto. All pressure is off!

One last note: Got to have dinner with the crew and we have a really good group of guys here. Thus far, it looks like I am 3 for 3 in regional umpire likeability. I look forward to working with these guys this week.

See you in the morning!

A year in review

Section 9 8-10 Baseball crew last night.
 It looks a little familiar.

I finished my pre-regional games last night at first base for the 8-10 baseball section 9 game. Now to finish the final preparations for Friday. I like this time of year on Facebook as my memories are all of umpiring with some of my favorite people in the world. 

 So I want to look back on the year that was today. Last year, I did 3 games in March and then we got shut down for the rest of the year. It was so hard to be gone from the game for that long. This year, when games started up in Menifee in April, I was all over them. It was great to be back on the field helping kids play a game. 

There was one thing about this year, though. I never had so many strange calls as I did this year. Obstructions, interferences, illegally batted balls, balks, calls I hadn't called in 10 years getting called multiple times this year. I had bad behaving coaches who needed to go home. This year, I did more games than I have done since I was the UIC in Bloomington trying to make a volunteer program run again. I got to umpire for Little League in Menifee, Wildomar, Lake Elsinore, and Murietta. Post-season I jumped up to Fontana, Grand Terrace, Hesperia, and San Diego. Have uniform, will travel. 

 Probably the highlight of the season was getting to umpire my youngest daughter's team several times. She had a rough season in Seniors at the plate. Last game of the year, we were at Lake Elsinore and the umpire pulls up next to us. It is an umpire I respect and have worked with before. I ask who he is working with and he isn't. He's got a Senior game solo. I ask if he wants a partner and suddenly I'm on the bases. 

My daughter's team hadn't won a game all season. They were battling with the team from Elsinore, down by one in the bottom of the 5th. There were runners on second and third and my daughter comes up. I'm in the C position. She gets to 3-2, 2 outs, and hits a looping fly ball down the third base line which lands about 3 feet fair. My partner calls fair and the dugout explodes in excitement. 2 runs score, she's standing on second, first true hit of the season. It was all I could do not to cry on the field as I'm the impartial arbiter at this point. I have a hard time thinking of when I have been happier on the field. 

They won. She got the game ball. The boys all cheered as we walked back to the car to leave. She smiled the entire ride home. 

 That's what this year has been about. We have helped kids who probably wouldn't make a travel ball team play as part of a team. We stood up to disease and said life will not end but we will enjoy life once again by playing a simple game. For all the bad tempers I encountered this year, there were 10 players happy to be out of the house and running the bases. Whenever I talked with a coach, I mentioned that this year was better than last year, no matter how hot it was. 

At the beginning of the season we had rust, missed calls, bad plays, and bonehead moves. By the end, we remembered why we were out there - it's fun. It develops leadership. Character, courage, and loyalty. It was an incredible season. I'm glad mine isn't quite done yet.

State Softball Tournament & Preparations

This was from the 8-10 Year Old
Baseball game on Sunday Night in
District 28, Not Softball.

From Saturday, July 10th to Friday, July 16, I worked every day but Sunday at the Southern California Softball State Tournament. It was a roller coaster ride of bad softball, great softball, nervous umpiring on my part, a game of quicksand wondering why I'm doing this, to one of my best games of the year. I feel, after 6 days of umpiring 8 games, I am ready for San Bernardino now.

Looking at the list of umpires, there are a lot of umpires I have heard about, a couple i have worked with, and all of them are known around the region. This is a great group of umpires of which I feel like I belong but also have that self-doubt that I can't afford another game where confidence wanes. 

One of the best things about the state tournament was the opportunity to work with Tori. I recruited Tori back in 2016 to umpire with me at Bloomington as a teenager. This year, she told me that she worked the entire Softball season at Bloomington. During the district's 8-10 Softball tournament, we worked 2 umpire and she worked her first All-Star game behind the plate. She was nervous but worked it. She did the loser bracket finals plate for the State tournament and did an excellent job. The growth between that first game and her last plate was impressive to see. I'm glad she's sticking it out because she is the future of umpiring. I consider her career my success as UIC of Bloomington.

Let me recap the state championship from my Facebook post:

"Little League Softball Majors Southern California State Championship: La Verne (visitors) vs West L.A. (Home): this was the if game with La Verne forcing it yesterday with a rub in the bottom of the 6th. Today La Verne scores one in the first and West L.A. scores 3 in the bottom of the first. La Verne ties it up 3-3 in the third. Scoreless 4th. La Verne scores one in the 5th and West L.A. gets runners on first and second with no outs in the bottom of 5. A couple of fly balls to center and a 6-3 ground out gets La Verne or of a pickle.

6th inning, La Verne has 7-8-9 up and 8 gets on base. 9 gets the second out. 1 gets intentionally walked and 2 hits a dribbler to the third baseman whose throw beats the batter by half a step.

West L.A. also has 7-8-9 coming up in the bottom of the 7th. 8 gets on. 9 out for second out. 1 hits and now there are runners on first and second. 2 hits a dribbler to the shortstop and we have a third out, 6-3.

La Verne played every day during this tournament, 7 days. And I'll see them again in a week."

So now the state tournament is done and I am getting the final preparations done for Regionals. My pants are at the cleaners getting pressed. I'm cleaning out my car from all the extra umpire stuff. I'm hydrating today for games on Saturday. I've read and reread the rule book and tournament rules. I'm ready for San Bernardino.

Friday is Rebecca's 18th birthday. I get to hang out with her in the morning and then head up to San Bernardino for our Umpire meeting the night before games start. First game starts at 9 AM on Saturday. I don't know if I'm on that game yet or if I'll be on the noon game instead. Here is the schedule of all games:

https://www.littleleague.org/world-series/2021/llsbws/tournaments/west-region/

I'll guarantee I won't be on the plate for any game that Southern California is on (La Verne) because that is the way they do it. No home state umpires doing the plate for their home state team. I understand the reasons for that (and after doing 6 games for La Verne during the state tournament, it is definitely a good idea to avoid the perception of impropriety.) So no plate Sunday at noon.

Looking at the tournament, it looks like Idaho is not sending a team this year but the other 11 states (2 California) are sending one. 19 games. It should be a fun tournament.

I'll let you know my opening day schedule as soon as I know it myself. 

Those nagging voices

 Yesterday I had the opportunity to go back to District 21 and help out with their Senior baseball tournament. 2 teams. Best of 3. I had the plate. Tonight, I had third base. 

One thing about going all the way up to Rialto to do a game is that I get a long drive home to think about the game. That usually means I get to go over all the questions that should keep me up at night over with before I get home and get ready for bed. There’s always questions: was my strike zone consistent? Could I have done anything to speed the game up? Could I have done anything to prevent the ejection? (Yes, I did eject someone for drawing a line on a pitch.)

Then there are the comments from parents and coaches that don’t ultimately matter but I do hear and have to answer on those long drives home. Was the parent yelling about whatever in the moment a legitimate critique? Could I have done anything to clean up confusion on the field before it got to that point? 

It’s a game-by-game struggle to get through the questions and ultimately ask myself, “Am I giving these kids my all so they can have a fair and unbiased game from my position? Am I working hard enough, hustling, and have the knowledge to make the correct calls?”  I have found over the years that umpiring isn’t about the self-doubt that the questions after the game on the drive home cause to worm through my brain. It is the belief that I am working hard, training hard, and doing a job that most people don’t want to do to the best of my ability. 

I understand that I am not perfect and will readily agree with that. I will typically talk with my catcher if he is chatty and will admit when I miss a pitch after thinking about it for a few more seconds. (I need to work on my timing to correct that.) What I won’t do is tear myself down for making mistakes. To error is part of the game of baseball. If you ever look at the back of a baseball card, there is a fielding stat kept called, “ERR” and also Fielding Percentage. They track errors ball players make on the field (They track everything in baseball stats.) I work hard not to error but occasionally I do and I learn from it to get better next time. 

I had a couple of really close calls on the bases tonight. Years ago, maybe even last year, my positioning would have been off and I would have missed the call. Last night, looking back on it now, I worked hard to get the right position and got the calls right without a doubt. This is years of training, experience, and hustle coming into play to give the players my absolute best. The doubts may come. The criticisms definitely will. I take refuge in the fact that I am willing to make those decisions, to take the criticisms, to go home and wrestle with calls, research, talk, and read to get better, while those who complain are complacently willing to sit and complain. I am the expert in my field while on the field and I take that seriously, while really, really, really enjoying what I do. I love umpiring.

And hey, I get to umpire some softball tomorrow with my friend Ernie. Can it get better than that?

Starting it up again

Every once in a while, you get the chance to do something awesome a second time. This is one of those times.

Let's talk about the how first.

2020 was a horrible year for pretty much everything. Games at my local Little League started a week before everything shut down for the COVID-19 pandemic so I worked 3 games in 2020. 2021 saw the return of baseball games near normal (shortened schedules, special rules about ball handling and the post game handshakes that turned into waves across the field, stuff like that.) I have done a lot of games this year. It was good to be back out there.

In early May, Steve Keener, President of Little League, announced that the Little League World Series for both baseball and softball would return in a very modified format. It would only be the Major tournament and the teams in Williamsport and Greenville, North Carolina would only be from the United States. Each regional tournament would send the tournament winner and the runner up. Softball will have a 10 team tournament while baseball will have a 16 team tournament. All other divisions of All-Stars will end at the state tournament.

A couple of days later, there was a Zoom meeting with tournament committee members and the Western Region staff. It was announced that the tournaments in San Bernardino would be very different this year. Many of the committees that make the tournaments so special could not happen this year because there are going to be a lot of restrictions. No hospitality, no souvenirs, no snack bar, no outside fans besides the families of the players. It is going to be a very different tournament this year.

With this, the question came up, what about umpire families? They aren't going to be allowed to be at the game either. This would change the experience for these umpires who really deserve to be praised for the job they do out there. So, Region gave the umpires a choice - do you want to do it this year or wait until 2022 and hopefully get the whole experience. The vast majority said wait until next year and I don't blame them.

So what do they do to get the umpires they need for the baseball and softball tournaments? I got an email a few days after the Zoom meeting asking if I wanted to come back and umpire the softball tournament a second time. This never happens. Once you do a regional tournament at a level, that's your one time. You can do 7 regionals (Major, Junior, Senior baseball and softball, Intermediate baseball) and the same 7 World Series, and then you're done. That really is enough tournaments to last a lifetime and a half and I know I won't get to all of them.

I talked to Trina about it and wasn't sure if I wanted to do it but she asked me why I hadn't replied yet. Ok, I replied and they let me know I'm one of the seven replacement umpires getting to do this a second time. I'm going back to San Bernardino. So the blog is starting back up to journal this journey. 

I'm excited. Right now, I feel like I'm doing the best umpiring of my career because of the amount of games I have done this year and the dedication to getting better 14 years has imparted. I know the atmosphere won't be 2017 but, then again, I think we'll be on ESPN while I wasn't in 2017. That's concerning, but having talked to umpires who have been on TV, once the game starts it isn't a concern. It's just softball.

I have a lot of things to do in for the tournament that starts in 57 days. I look forward to sharing it with you.

Postscript 2017 - There's nothing soft in softball

These last two weeks have been quite the emotional roller coaster. Showing up to do games in San Bernardino, the town of my birth, where I grew up, and where I work even now, was the beginning of a dream come true. The tournament itself was everything I dreamed it would be when I started umpiring 10 years ago. I played once on this field when I was a 9 years old minor division player on the Minor Indians at Del Rosa Little League so many moons ago. Sitting in those below ground dugouts was great - feeling like I was a major league player playing in a stadium the size of this field was overwhelming. I never thought after I left the major division in 1986 that I would ever set foot on that field again.

Umpiring gave me that chance. Umpiring lets me get back into the game I loved as a kid and helps me share that experience with the next generation. More importantly, umpiring allows me the opportunity to make friends outside of the church. When I was a children's pastor full time, I worked at church, I hung out with other members of the church, I went to church at the church, I went to events at the church. Everything rotated around the church that I didn't have anyone to reach outside with my testimony or my attitude. We had to close down our childcare center in August of 2007. I was on staff until November 2007. I look back now and see that God was forcing me out of my safe circle.

I had lost my job. We had 2 babies in the house now and only my mother-in-law's income. I got a holiday job restocking at KB Toys which ran over because I was a hard worker and versatile. That lasted until March when I finally got hired on with the school district in San Bernardino. Meanwhile, I was looking for work everywhere until I finally interviewed for CAPS. I found a Craigslist ad looking for umpires in North Rialto, paying $25 a game. I played ball for 10 years, I could umpire.

Boy, was I wrong. I couldn't umpire worth a lick because I believed all the rules myths. Joey was patient with me and walked me through to become a better umpire over time.

I went to the week long clinic at WRLL headquarters in 2012. That week changed the way I umpire for the better. I developed mechanics, got confidence, learned the rules, and began to network with other umpires. That week was probably the biggest thing I've done as an umpire as it opened so many doors after that - and gave me more chances to minister outside of a church.

See, Little League umpiring is a ministry for me. The biggest way is that I am the calm in the storm. When parents are blowing up, when kids are upset and managers are yelling, I keep my composure. I show the world that no matter how chaotic everything around is, someone can keep their head and make rational decisions while showing love and respect to those who have lost their character.

After that first year of being paid, I refused pay the second year and haven't been paid for Little League since. I bought into the program. Character, loyalty, and courage. These are the pillars of Little League which I get to manifest each game I do. I've made some incredible relationships over the years through umpiring - not just with fellow umpires but with parents and kids. I love walking up at Alta Loma, a place where I can't really work too much anymore because of the distance, and hearing parents say, "Oh, I'm so happy you are here. We've missed you."  There's nothing like walking onto a field and hearing the kids in the dugout whispering to each other, "Hey, we've got a real umpire today!" I make a positive impact on parents and players by being a positive person on the field. It's a great ministry.

This week, I stepped onto the field at Al Houghton Stadium and umpired games for girls from all around the Western part of the United States. I fought hard to find small opportunities to personally connect with coaches and players throughout the week because this is a great community looking to develop the next generation of leaders with personality traits we find important. Without the community, Little League just isn't worth the hassle.

I was able to have small conversations throughout the week at lunch or passing a coach by the pool. Some conversations were with people who support everyone at the tournament while others were with the 14th player of the team who gets one at-bat a game. Every person I met had a story and was able to take away from this week an experience they will never forget.

Still, my ministry of calm in the storm wasn't as available as it usually it so I had to ask God what ministry he wanted for me this week. It was a ministry of encouragement. I purposely found ways to be encouraging throughout the week. Usually, I am very content being the introvert, sitting in my corner on my phone with the bubble around me but I worked hard this week. I feel my fellow umpires were my primary target of the encouragement - and they deserve it. There are so many times as umpires where we do our job and people either never notice or they only see what they perceive are errors and think we're horrible. Being built up feels good and I wanted to share that with them.

This tournament has truly been a roller coaster of emotions. The joy of walking on the field as an umpire for the first time during tournament. The emotions that bubble up when looking out into the stands and seeing people I know watching me, encouraging the umpires, cheering the girls, and supporting me on this incredible journey sometimes made me want to cry (I fought back tears twice this tournament on the field.) The anticipation and trepidation of knowing my first plate at the tournament was right around the corner. The emotional high of success when fear was so close the entire game. The pain of fear, fear of losing close family and fear of losing the chance to finish this. The appreciation of my brothers in blue who supported me when my family was hurting. The joy and relief when they saw me come back. The disappointment of not making it to the final plate. The realization that this is not who I want to be and the adjustment in attitude. The joy in seeing my partners exceed expectations and deliver incredible umpiring. The drama of an 8 inning game. The relief to know that we did our job all week and the girls determined the outcome of the game and the tournament. The sadness of it being over and realizing that I would never walk onto this field again as a softball umpire for the Western Region Little League Regional Tournament. 

I did want to share that my mother-in-law is fine. She was actually having pancreatic pain and some gall stones and not a heart attack so she is home again and in good health. Unfortunately, her mom, who also lived with us, passed away on Tuesday morning at the age of 94. We have her funeral on Monday coming up. This sadness is tempered by the fact that Trina and I are picking up Becca from her mission trip on Friday in Florida and then spending the next 2 days out there, just the three of us. Becca doesn't know yet so that will be a hard part of the reunion.

As I said on Facebook, life is a roller coaster. I'm along for the ride wherever God is laying the track. I am so grateful that God finds me lovable and blesses me with joy and pain, with peaks and valleys. It's quite the ride when there's so many differences so close together, but I think God does it so I can stand in awe at his grace knowing that he is there through it all.

I love my Little League family. Next week, I will spend some time at the baseball tournament and say hi to some of my favorite people in the world. Walking around the stadium is like a family reunion where you actually like everyone there. I can't wait to be a part of it again.

Thank you, my readers, for coming along with me on this journey. May God bless you even more greatly than he has me this week.

Softball Tony